The danger in starting a fire is that sometimes you can't stop it. It'll spin out of control and burn everyone you love. I started a fire just to see if I could control it, and now no one is left. I am alone in an ashen world cursed to live eternally for my sins. There is nothing for me here but carbon air and molten temperatures, it isn't too bad compared to what I deserve. What I deserve is to be the last of two, with one person always blissfully ignorant to my existence. I should love that person, and it should dig into every fiber of my being when she doesn't notice me. I should feel that pain every hour of every day, everyone is gone because I played with that fire.
Local news states that a teenager burnt down his own home killing himself and no one else. It is fortunate that the family was out, but the whole neighborhood supports them in their loss. It is inconclusive if this was a case of arson, or suicide.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
What Could _______ Be?
My world is ending faster than I can send you a message to warn you of the cause of our demise. My world is a lot different from yours so I don't know if all of the words will line up to mean the same thing, but I will do the best I can. My world has run out of _______ we need it to survive so whatever you do, don't lose _______. _______ is the thing that you have always needed to live isn't it? We have too much hope and not enough love, but those things are irrelevant to what I am telling you. Sometime soon, you will know what _______ is and you will have the means to save it how I did. Don't question what it is, and don't hold back when you do what you need to do. Just don't let your world die out of curiosity don't be the last one left, because you don't want to be the one writing this message.
My Message to the World
What is there left to write?
There is nothing left for me to say, so why do I now need to write more than ever?
In a poetic sense I am blank, so do I just want to give the world a message?
Losing the numbness all around me has caused me some pain, but I am really happy too.
I can't help but just want to take in the world, looking out over the hill I live on to change my perspective.
I can't imagine a brighter sight than those lights of the city from this point.
I can't imagine a better place to be, other than with people who I could share it with.
My chest swells with anticipation just wanting to see everyone again, to claim the world over again as a happy person.
I can't wish pain on another person, yet I can threaten it with my friends, playful or serious, because I know that I don't have it in me to hurt them again.
I hope I can have the courage to step outside my bubble, and to help others do the same.
I want to be an inspiration to someone, whether it be by writing what I feel, just being a good person, or advancing my field of work whatever it may be.
I just want to make the world realize that pain is a part of life, and that people shouldn't hide from it.
Sure it may bleed you dry, but if you let it take your personality away the only thing you will have left is your interests.
Whatever the case may be in your life, needing pain as a reminder that you are alive, wanting someone to share your pain, wanting the world to know you are there.
It doesn't matter, you just need to live to get it done, you need to chase after everything you want with an ambition that you feel can't be matched.
You can slow down your life to help others along the way, whether it hurts anyone in the process is just their willingness to move on with life.
I want to help everyone, I want to care for the people with no one, because I have been there too.
I want to make the world an easier place to live in by helping people with the pain life brings.
There may be some who don't want help along the way, their pride hasn't been shattered by pain.
That is the time in your life where you build up the walls around your heart, keeping your ego and your pride up on the top shelf so no one can knock you off your high horse except yourself.
The only real way to stop yourself from becoming that horseman is to let people in, remember how the world feels.
Let yourself remember all the times you enjoyed your life, no matter how far back you may have to search there is something in there for everyone.
A life with no happiness found in any crevice hasn't tried to experience anything new.
They haven't explored what they may or may not enjoy, they can't fathom being happy for any reason except the end of their suffering.
Whoever has reached that state, where they can't even remember being happy in their lives just needs to start over.
No one should try and exist without experiencing some form of joy every once in a while.
Give someone a hug, ask someone for a hug, apologize for whatever, make yourself aware of your problem, whether you can identify the cause, or if you are just a mystery to yourself.
I can't stop these words from leaving me, I just want my message to the world to be seen by everyone who can understand that locking yourself away isn't worth the price of hurting everyone.
Locking yourself away can't be the answer, because if you lose the key, you can't ever make it back to the ones you love.
You can't ever love anyone else in your life, and you can just become lost in the pain that you made for yourself.
Eventually I see those people start to only be able to feel again when they abuse substances, or when they hurt themselves.
Which I know they don't want it, but they forgot what anything but pain has felt like, and they want a reminder that they aren't just in hell, they are living it.
People who are alone, whether they fear that loneliness or if they relish in it can't really learn to express how they feel.
I learned through watching other people, I became a mirror until I lost that numb feeling that consumed me.
I know how people think again, I can see who is sad by their eyes, and it pains me to see people hurt when I feel like I have the power to help them.
Most refuse me, whether it be fear of pain, lack of trust, or excessive pride.
I want to make the world a happy place with the acceptance of pain.
I want to make life easier for people, whether I love them, hate them, or don't even know them.
Can I write the whole world a song so I can help people move on, or will the lyrics fall short and leave the people in pain with more questions about why they are suffering?
I want the people in the world who are hurt to remember that there is someone there.
You just have to look up and see that outstretched hand.
You can't often see them because they are far away, so you have to take the first few steps to them on your own.
Yet now that you can see them, you recall they were always there, you want to apologize to them, but they just welcome you back to the world.
I want this for the world.
I want acceptance of pain, and relishing in joy to be things that everyone is capable of.
Even if you feel like you have been shoved into the dirt to live alone, you will always have someone there.
Whether you know it or not depends on if you want to see the person who is there to help you, or if you just want to keep a firm grip on your pride.
My message to the world isn't as long as it could be there is no way it will be seen by the eyes of everyone, but if you like my message, just pass it around.
Maybe we can help people out of their pain, and back into the lights of the world.
Maybe, just maybe, we can help the ones we love the most.
There is nothing left for me to say, so why do I now need to write more than ever?
In a poetic sense I am blank, so do I just want to give the world a message?
Losing the numbness all around me has caused me some pain, but I am really happy too.
I can't help but just want to take in the world, looking out over the hill I live on to change my perspective.
I can't imagine a brighter sight than those lights of the city from this point.
I can't imagine a better place to be, other than with people who I could share it with.
My chest swells with anticipation just wanting to see everyone again, to claim the world over again as a happy person.
I can't wish pain on another person, yet I can threaten it with my friends, playful or serious, because I know that I don't have it in me to hurt them again.
I hope I can have the courage to step outside my bubble, and to help others do the same.
I want to be an inspiration to someone, whether it be by writing what I feel, just being a good person, or advancing my field of work whatever it may be.
I just want to make the world realize that pain is a part of life, and that people shouldn't hide from it.
Sure it may bleed you dry, but if you let it take your personality away the only thing you will have left is your interests.
Whatever the case may be in your life, needing pain as a reminder that you are alive, wanting someone to share your pain, wanting the world to know you are there.
It doesn't matter, you just need to live to get it done, you need to chase after everything you want with an ambition that you feel can't be matched.
You can slow down your life to help others along the way, whether it hurts anyone in the process is just their willingness to move on with life.
I want to help everyone, I want to care for the people with no one, because I have been there too.
I want to make the world an easier place to live in by helping people with the pain life brings.
There may be some who don't want help along the way, their pride hasn't been shattered by pain.
That is the time in your life where you build up the walls around your heart, keeping your ego and your pride up on the top shelf so no one can knock you off your high horse except yourself.
The only real way to stop yourself from becoming that horseman is to let people in, remember how the world feels.
Let yourself remember all the times you enjoyed your life, no matter how far back you may have to search there is something in there for everyone.
A life with no happiness found in any crevice hasn't tried to experience anything new.
They haven't explored what they may or may not enjoy, they can't fathom being happy for any reason except the end of their suffering.
Whoever has reached that state, where they can't even remember being happy in their lives just needs to start over.
No one should try and exist without experiencing some form of joy every once in a while.
Give someone a hug, ask someone for a hug, apologize for whatever, make yourself aware of your problem, whether you can identify the cause, or if you are just a mystery to yourself.
I can't stop these words from leaving me, I just want my message to the world to be seen by everyone who can understand that locking yourself away isn't worth the price of hurting everyone.
Locking yourself away can't be the answer, because if you lose the key, you can't ever make it back to the ones you love.
You can't ever love anyone else in your life, and you can just become lost in the pain that you made for yourself.
Eventually I see those people start to only be able to feel again when they abuse substances, or when they hurt themselves.
Which I know they don't want it, but they forgot what anything but pain has felt like, and they want a reminder that they aren't just in hell, they are living it.
People who are alone, whether they fear that loneliness or if they relish in it can't really learn to express how they feel.
I learned through watching other people, I became a mirror until I lost that numb feeling that consumed me.
I know how people think again, I can see who is sad by their eyes, and it pains me to see people hurt when I feel like I have the power to help them.
Most refuse me, whether it be fear of pain, lack of trust, or excessive pride.
I want to make the world a happy place with the acceptance of pain.
I want to make life easier for people, whether I love them, hate them, or don't even know them.
Can I write the whole world a song so I can help people move on, or will the lyrics fall short and leave the people in pain with more questions about why they are suffering?
I want the people in the world who are hurt to remember that there is someone there.
You just have to look up and see that outstretched hand.
You can't often see them because they are far away, so you have to take the first few steps to them on your own.
Yet now that you can see them, you recall they were always there, you want to apologize to them, but they just welcome you back to the world.
I want this for the world.
I want acceptance of pain, and relishing in joy to be things that everyone is capable of.
Even if you feel like you have been shoved into the dirt to live alone, you will always have someone there.
Whether you know it or not depends on if you want to see the person who is there to help you, or if you just want to keep a firm grip on your pride.
My message to the world isn't as long as it could be there is no way it will be seen by the eyes of everyone, but if you like my message, just pass it around.
Maybe we can help people out of their pain, and back into the lights of the world.
Maybe, just maybe, we can help the ones we love the most.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Welcome.
A first post, and I already made a spelling error that I corrected.
Fortunate I caught myself, I do think a bit too fast.
Welcome to a few of my own private thoughts, and welcome to confusion.
I am not very collected in my writings, and I think that is okay to some extent.
I have strayed from the message, I am Kyler.
You are on my blog, and you are welcome to stay.
You are welcome to speak, and share your opinions.
I often times don't bite people digitally.
Note though, this is liable to change at any time.
I have my ways you know.
Fortunate I caught myself, I do think a bit too fast.
Welcome to a few of my own private thoughts, and welcome to confusion.
I am not very collected in my writings, and I think that is okay to some extent.
I have strayed from the message, I am Kyler.
You are on my blog, and you are welcome to stay.
You are welcome to speak, and share your opinions.
I often times don't bite people digitally.
Note though, this is liable to change at any time.
I have my ways you know.
